Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize