are you still at the devil's house?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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