k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
