hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
