Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I need a burrito and a hug.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
