jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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