When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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