I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
