Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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