So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
