I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Please, let me fuck your mom
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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