but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
