I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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