No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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