no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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