I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
