So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
