i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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