I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
