Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
