every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
