just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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