Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
