we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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