okay pat passed out under dana's car
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
