turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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