we have officially lost it.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
