U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
