Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
