Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
