remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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