oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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