And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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