Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize