I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
