First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
