Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
