So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
