Dual....:-)
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
