you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize