belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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