Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
