Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
