Ambien. No doubt about it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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