I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
