Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
soo... how was my night?
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