what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize