no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
