I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
