just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
