big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize