You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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