That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
