You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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