Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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