She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Boobs speak an international language.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
