A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
