Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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