just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize