Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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