we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
