What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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