How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
