Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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