I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize