If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
