In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
